Time and Time, Again

Hour, Time, Past, Imagination, Clock

 

Time and time, again we think that today is the day.  Sometimes I don’t feel like doing things. I still try to do something.  There is never a day that makes me want to give up. Keep going, it will get better. 

I am up early and going outside makes me feel refreshed. The quietude of the last bits of night, preparing for the day. The moon is a sliver in the sky, the stars shine bright. As I listen to the train whistle off in the distance, I can’t help but wonder where it’s going or what the driver sees as nature provides a variety of scenes.

We have so many plans, places to go, people to see. What is the next step? The answers are there just waiting for us to find.  Time is elusive.  It hides and never giving in – even just a little.  When we least expect it, we seem to find it.  Spending vacation without a wristwatch or phone is a great way to feel time slow down.  

I try to slow down. I get lazy and forget that time is our most precious commodity. It doesn’t care what we did or didn’t do. It continues on whether we make the best use of it or not because we cannot stop it.  Time is something we cannot see or put under a microscope.  

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I struggle, sometimes, to understand why. We don’t need to know – just believing it is enough.  They say that there is always a time and that things will happen when it is right.

I always want to be awake and aware of that one moment that can change everything. Do I see it? No. Do I make the best of every moment? Probably not. I do know that life has moved at a very fast pace and it catches me off guard, subsequently, I have taken it upon myself to start a project that I haven’t worked on and is collecting dust.

Does everyone get everything done? No. Why? We have the same 24 hours, so what keeps us from doing more? From being our best self? Taking action is what we need to do, therefore, that is what I am doing right now.  

After leaving this sit for almost a year and a half, I started writing for my blog again.  I have taken the time to build it and work out some kinks.  Learning something new is always fun and sometimes a challenge.  This is something I really want to get good at. I have time, I made time, I want to tell you that there isn’t as much time left as you think there is. 

I love this quote and have used it often – reminds me that the clock is ticking —-

“If you do not like where you are, MOVE!  You are not a TREE!”

A Woman Wears Many Hats

 

 

womans hats - which ones do you whear

 

A  woman wears many hats –  and they don’t always fit.  Some hats are tight-fitting and some are large.  Some fit perfectly and some we would just as soon get rid of.

Like many of you, I dabble in things because it piques my interest.  Maybe someone does something that I always wanted to do or they know something that I have always found fascinating.   I may have discovered something that makes me feel like I did when I was a kid – the curiosity, the dream, the thing that was worth the wait.  

We never know until we try, ask, do.  Sometimes we find that maybe, just maybe, it isn’t what we thought it would be.  Did it satisfy our curiosity?  Did it feel more like an obligation than a dream?  Another hat to be worn.

We took classes, bought books and supplies.  Trying to figure out which one thing would make growing up worth the wait.  Trial and error in trying on the hats that we liked.  Did it fit well?  Maybe we thought so, but, we ended up throwing it in the closet for a while thinking –  maybe later.  I will buy another hat.

I love trying on hats.  They make me feel alive and ready to tackle something new.  I am a creator, a maker, a doer of things.  I have failed at many things and that has not stopped me from doing something new.  This is something new that I never thought I could do.  Blogging gives me a chance to hone my writing skills, meet new people, learn new things. 

I love learning.  That is a hat that I love wearing.  It fits perfectly on my head and I have worn it to the point of comfort.  Women wear many hats and we often take for granted that old, worn hat.  It is a hat we go back to – for comfort, for security, and for strength.

When I am wearing other hats, I feel alive or sometimes I hide.

My New Housecoat

New housecoat Old housecoat

Posted – 2014

Sometimes it’s about the clothes…. my hubby got me my early birthday present – my new housecoat.  The thing is, I have to throw the old one away. That may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me, it is a little “big” deal. I am all for sending it along for someone else to re-use, but, I can safely say that this has seen it’s days.

Today I am throwing that old thing out.  Now, before you laugh….what is one thing that you have that has more memories attached to it and you wouldn’t get rid of? ( I am usually not a materialistic person either). My old housecoat has been through Christmases and cool fall evenings.  It has carried babies at night.  Witnessed awesome kids and naughty ones. It has been my security blanket through good times and bad. Oh, that coat has had more spills and spit-up on it than anything else I own!

I have cried and laughed inside it. I have spent all day wearing it.  It has been used to wipe the snot from the noses of little ones.  It has been worn as I sat on the dock and wondered at the stars in the middle of the night.  Pulled it tight as I keep the winter wind from blowing through me.  It has been washed so many times that it has worn in places that are almost see-through.

I will throw my old one, because, it is, quite frankly, worn out! Before you throw away or donate something, let the good times roll through your mind and roll on to make new ones.

Update -2020

I have kept that housecoat and it has moved as many times as I have.  It hangs as a backup on the hanger on the door of my bedroom.  The suggestions and support I got to keep it was amazing.  Make it a quilt, turn it into stuffed animals, use it to make small blankets for the grandkids – all of which I may do.

I got to thinking about this because I had a memory pop up on Facebook. I love how it conjured up memories for many of you and that is why I have kept it, too.

Fridays

 

Are Fridays really Fridays, anymore?

Are Fridays really Fridays?  What do you think of when you think of Fridays?  It used to mean the weekend for many and probably still does.  For many of us, though, Fridays do not have the same meaning.  The world has definitely evolved into a 24-hour mess.  Why do I say mess?  Because you use to have to make sure all your shopping and errands were done during the week.  Now it means getting it done on the weekends and not enjoying our awesome break!

Fridays were a time to wear casual and tidy up so that you could be ready to work on Monday’s business.  It meant planning for an evening of fun with friends or make sure relatives were home so that you could take a leisurely drive on Sunday to visit.

We often think of Fridays as a closing of the week.  Having done our job we could feel good about enjoying a couple well deserved days off.  I think of Fridays as another day because my Friday is Wednesday!  Yes, it is nice having a couple of days off during the week to go to the bank, post office, and vet.  These places are rarely open on the weekend.

Many people work on weekends.  We are there to serve those that have weekends off.  I am not complaining, mind you.   My choice is to work some weekends.  It is why we have a mess.  We want everything available to us 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

Remember when you had to make sure you had enough milk in the house for the weekend?  Did you get all your errands done during the week so you didn’t have to take time off of work?  Do you use your lunch hour to go to the bank, post office, vet clinic, or grocery store?

Grocery stores, if we were lucky, were open when you got off of work – if you were off by 5:30.   The bank’s drive-through was open until 6 – on a Friday – if you needed their services.  What about the post office?  The vet probably doesn’t have office hours after the noon hour on Friday.

All the things we take for granted when we want to have things at our disposal.  Forget your son or daughter’s birthday gift for a party?  You can stop at many stores and get what you need whenever you need it – before work, during lunch, after work, after supper, or in the middle of the night!  Don’t forget a gallon of milk!

I would love to see this country go back to the “good old days” to take back our weekends!  Fridays may never be the same again.  None of us are the same either.  I have the same things to do like you on the weekends.  Running my errands on my lunch hour, before work or yes, on the weekend when I have a day off.  Going to the convenience store to grab a gallon of milk because I didn’t get it done during the week.

What do Fridays mean to you?  Bring on the weekend and I will see you when I am working!!

Prayer is Not Always Done in Church

 

Praying anywhere

 

 

Prayer comes easier to me at night.   I try to pray. Doing it doesn’t make me more or less religious.   I do it because I believe. I am a strong believer that there is more than we can ever know.

Religion doesn’t have to mean an hour, or whatever time, of praising God. It is the belief that there is a God. Some may argue that you need to know the scriptures or read or study the Bible – I don’t.

We started going to classes as we grew older and eventually stopped going to church.  I was brought up by good parents, good role models, and supporting family and friends is why I argue that.

Faith is a strong virtue, but only if you are compassionate, kind, and try to see the good in others. That, to me, is faith. Faith that everyone is as you are.

Understanding your family and friends, sharing kindness, showing vulnerability- these are values of virtue. The definition of virtue is – behavior showing high moral standards.

It boils down to that – behavior. We are human. Everyone makes mistakes. All we need to do is ask for forgiveness and apologize.

I am surely not of “high” moral standards. No one I know is. Judgment day comes to all of us. And I do know this – God forgives all because He is an all-forgiving God. Not having a religious background, I still know that.

I can’t recite much of anything, except the prayers learned in religious education. They are all I need – to learn, to remember, to understand. It is enough for me to work on my own “high” moral standards without having to go somewhere to do it or someone telling me how to do it.

I have a home, a sanctuary, to pray in. Asking for forgiveness, receiving guidance, and feeling safe are things I can have wherever I want. To tell you the truth, I drive and thank God for another day. That’s all I know he wants me to tell him – the simple prayer of thankfulness.

Think about all the things that you worry about, the people you lost, the words you said, the things you’ve done wrong – just ask for, say a prayer and be grateful for another day.  Have faith that He will answer when He knows you are ready.

Faith – strong belief in God – is believing in something that you can’t physically see, hear or touch. You just believe. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t make it untrue. I like knowing that. Knowing that I believe because I just do.  Say a prayer tonight, it can just be a simple Thank you.

Fall into another Season

 

 

fall on the lake

 

I wrote this last fall and have finally had a chance to publish it.

I have been feeling a little nostalgic, lately.  Fall always brings back those childhood memories.  The clear skies, fresh air, short days, football games, leaves falling – there is just something about this time of year.

Yesterday and today I spent a couple of hours just burning leaves. Why is this important? Sometimes connecting with nature and listening to the sounds is therapeutic.

My neighborhood is relatively quiet. We live on a dead-end road with many summer families. The highway isn’t too far away and the sounds from across the lake, today, can be a telltale sign of what is going on. Lawnmowers, power tools, vehicles – these interrupt my silence.

The wind through the trees, the squeaking of the branches, and the few birds that stay year-round are amazing – blue jays, cardinals, seagulls.

The remnants of summer – lawn chairs, a basketball, late-blooming flowers, robins chirping and heading south, boats getting that last trip on the lake.

Time stands still. The smoke rises until the breeze pushes it over. Memorized by the red, orange, and yellow flames. Crackling of leaves giving their last energy to the fire. Ashes to ashes.

Green needles from the cedar lose their moisture and slowly join the leaves. They will meld together and fertilize the earth again.

My hubby and I usually do this together and it takes all day. Today my Dad joined me when I was almost done for the day. As I stood patiently waiting for the clippings and leaves to burn, he said it reminded him of hunting. Standing, watching, listening, waiting. Waiting for that one opportunity to shoot.

I went hunting once. During my senior year of high school, I was 18. It was one of the most peaceful experiences I have ever had. Alone in the woods, trees dropping their cover, animals scurrying for scraps of whatever they were looking for, silence.  The season begins, protecting the earth until it renews in the spring.

Fall is one of the most magical times of the year for me. The nostalgia, the smells of the upturned earth, the coming of winter, changes. Changes that take place under the leaves and snow and sometimes inside of us.

 

Grandchildren

The blessings that they bring.  Babies born onto our children.  Little versions of our babies when they were babies.
Related image

Crying, eating, pooping, smiling, crawling, giggling, growing little by little until all of a sudden they are the best version of two people who fell in love in the first place.  Take back the long, restless nights, and it really wasn’t that bad nor was it that long.

I couldn’t wait to hear what their voices were going to sound like after all the grunting and wailing they did for things they wanted.  Soon the words turned to sentences.  Their personalities developed and their likes and dislikes start to show.

I think that they are an extension of ourselves once removed.  Seeing them reminds me of the girls when they were little.  Wondering if I was anything like they are.  Seeing, touching, hearing.. unafraid.  That’s what I miss.  I see how they try anything without knowing what could happen.  Taking those first steps, jumping off the couch, trying adult food for the first time, touching a soft cat or prickly pinecone.

We have eight of them and that is all we will have.  The oldest will turn 21 the end of this month and the youngest is a year and a half.  Wow, is that crazy or what!  

I love watching them grow, seeing what they are doing, the challenges they face, the individuals they are becoming.  School, health, dates, driving, jobs – it all takes time and that is what they have more of than anything else.

I just want them to know that we care, we want them to do their best, we will catch them if they fall, and we will let them take the responsibility if they make decisions that we disagree or agree with!  

There are times when I think back to my grandparents and know that they approved and disapproved of many things.  I loved it when they scolded me and I knew they really weren’t upset, just a little disapproving of my choices.  We all turned out pretty well, anyway.

The hubby and I argue, sometimes, over the way they were raised.  We aren’t their parents, they have their own.  We watch and wait until our kids ask us for advice and, sometimes, we give it anyway.

I will always remember my Great Grandpa on my paternal side.  He was the most fun.  I was young when he was old and yes, I remember the day we laid him to rest.  It was heart breaking.

He loved to play tricks until we cried or skip with us down a dusty old road.  Memories are what I have.  I hope that my grand kids have those too.

We have favorites, whether we like it or not, and try not to show it.  I think that because we didn’t get to be involved with some of the older kids, when they were little, we missed some of the bonding.  Who the heck knows how to be grandparents anyway????

Snuggles and hugs, kisses and high 5’s.  Diapers and distress.  Driving and dates.  School and jobs.  The older they get, the less we see them.  They get busy just like us.  Scheduling time is what we need to do.  We can no longer just drop in and expect to see the older ones. 

Cherish what you have, look forward to what is coming, and remember what was.  These are great times  – Grandpa and Grandma!

Image result for free retirement pictures

Well, are you ready?  Almost ready?  Kind of ready?  Not really ready?  Definitely not ready?

I am at the almost ready stage.  The last five years we have been really working on being at the almost ready stage.  Nothing scares me more than not being ready.  Are you kidding me?  If health care, IRAs, 401Ks, Medicare, and Medicaid doesn’t scare you, then maybe thinking about what you will fill your days with should!

I don’t want to go to work now as it is.  But, I have to fill my days with something, right?  Yes, I have a hobby.  Yes, I like to be outdoors.  No, I don’t watch that much mind numbing television either.  No, I don’t have an unlimited supply of money put away, yet.

What I have been doing is working on diversifying what money I do have and making sure that I have a job until I am ready to retire.  Reading, learning and asking questions about what I do need to do are part of the planning to get to Retirement.  I also nurture myself with a hobby and reading.

The climate I live in allows for many opportunities to take advantage of – indoors and outdoors.  Four seasons make that part of Retirement easy.  There is nothing better than to be able to do so many things all year round.  Winter will be the biggest challenge because, unfortunately or fortunately, the means won’t be there and I really don’t have a desire to leave this beautiful state.

A rocking chair is still an option for part of my Retirement.  Working part-time may be an option for some of it too.  I do not want to limit what I will or will not do when I retire. Never say NEVER.  I am old enough to know that there are things I have never done and may never get to do but I will never say I never want to do them.  Now that was a mouthful!

Take the challenge and think about how long you want to wait to Retire.  Think about what you may or may not need to do in order to do that.  Think about what you want to do when you Retire.  Do you want to move or do you want to start that hobby you have been dying to spend more than a few hours a week on or do you want to travel?

I know that when I am ready to Retire I will have lots to do.  I will be ready to take on that big garden, quilt more often and read when I want.  What do you want to do…………

Winter

We planted, gathered, and played all summer

Ahhh, Winter, how long will your visit be?  I know it officially starts on December 21st and ends in March.  It seems longer than our Spring and Summer put together!  This Winter had a later start, which we were all thankful for.  I should say most of us were thankful.  The skiers and snowmobilers love it when that first blanket falls.

Winter is a time for rest.  We planted, gathered, and played all summer.   When I think of Winter, I think of all the things that I need to do inside to nurture myself.  I read, work on hobbies, celebrate holidays, organize, downsize, and get my house in order.

Winter is an amazing time for all of us.  We take the time to reflect on the year that has passed.  We plan for the new year to come.  I know that many times we think we are going to change that which we didn’t from the year before.

There was a time when we thought that maybe we should have gone to Arizona – warm weather, no snow or bitter cold.  When you have lived your life with four distinct seasons, could you really enjoy the fall and Winter holidays without the falling leaves and snow?  I know that I would certainly miss the first snowfall, the crunch of the snow beneath my feet, the tracks of animals, snow storms that make you stay home, and the wind howling against the house.snowflake

The smell and crispness ofthe air, after the first snowfall, makes Winter worth it.  I always have to call or text my daughter when I see the first snowflake – It’s snowing!  I know that it has rubbed off on the granddaughter because she enjoys that first snow like her grandma!

Take time this winter to nurture yourself.  Take up a hobby that can only be done in Winter.  Read that book you thought you would read this summer when you were busy planting and mowing.  Clean out your closets.  Get rid of the clutter.  Get your house in order so you can really enjoy next summer and plan for next Winter.